It's November... so why not!?!

I've always loved November because it reminds me of how abundantly I have been blessed by God. It's one of those months that always re-centers me on what's important as well as draws me nearer to God. I'm still working building up a year-round attitude of gratitude, but I'm thankful for gentle reminders like November which nudge me into a mindset of appreciation.

With that being said, I've added more things to the list.

1. Friendship - God has given me a true friend to replace the many "yes men" and fake friends I've kept in the past. It's interesting because in a time before these friends, I was easy going, trusting and carefree. But I allowed other people's insecurities in invade my world. I let their half-friendship become an adaptation of mine. So I'm now re-learning how to be a friend and accept true friendship. Particularly, I am thankful for my friend and brother. He keeps me grounded and makes me self aware - even at times when I don't want to be. He gets me to the finish line time and time again, after I may stumble in the race of life. I honestly believe he is heaven sent - a gift of guidance and brotherly love left behind so that I can grow to one day be in a place that God can truly use me. So I thank God for giving me what I need when I need it and didn't know it. It truly makes me desire having a more genuine relationship with others. Not too many others, but a few more outstanding individuals in this world.

2. Pops - Gosh, I miss this guy. But strangely, I feel his presence everyday. The myriad of lessons that he taught me, the walls of my own ignorance that he challenged me to tear down, the wealth of inheritance he has bequeath me through his tough love, wisdom and foresight. I absolutely could not thank him enough. I truly believe that one day, i'll be a reflection of him to the world. What a mighty man of God he was. We'll meet him again, Pops. But in the meantime, I just thank God for his amazing patience and obedience to do what he was called to do before he had to leave this earth. He planted so many seeds of greatness in such a stubborn guy like myself. And I don't mean that in a cocky way. But I am literally STANDING in God's glory for my life! I'm just so thankful to God for him. My life is dedicated to making him proud.

3. My Father - Life events separated me from him early in life. But like any boy, I've always wanted to be just like my dad. In my adult life, I've learned, not only to forgive him, but to be thankful for him being a father to me and a great father-in-law to my wife. His huge heart never ceases to astound me. And his willingness to celebrate me as his son is enough to heal the wounds of the past and create a clean slate for the future. Whenever I have children, I really want them to know and love their granddad. He's a gentle giant who will give them the world. For this, I am truly grateful.

That's all folk.

Tis the season!

Saying thanks makes the difference

I gotta be honest - these posts have become very therapeutic to me. I have felt discouraged, stressed and doubtful in this last week. Reflecting on these posts have really redirected a lot of those feelings and reset my mind in a more positive direction. So, with that being said, here are some more points of gratitude.

1. LIFE Ministry - I've seen so many people believe in my vision for something that could truly change the lives of so many people. And I must admit, I've been more discouraged this week about the ministry than ever before. With so much else going on, I question sometimes if I can manage it all. But I am revitalized in my walk simply by reflecting on how people believe. They believe in me. They believe in God's ability to take this thing to unknown levels. They simply - believe. And that, for me, is enough. I've always had to believe in myself - regardless of the world around me. It's refreshing to have others truly believe in something you have been called to do. And for that, I'm thankful.

2. Trouble - As much as the childlike, care-free spirit in me hates and despises anything that represents trouble or strife, I've come to see how it has shaped me and continues to shape me into a stronger person.

3. Health - For as long as I can remember, I haven't had any major health concerns. A sprained ankle when I was a child, bronchitis for a moment in my teenage years, and a fever once every 15 years (I'm only 30!, lol). So I truly thank God above that he's given me such a true measure of health.

Okay, folk. That's all for now. Enjoy your Halloween. And pray my strength as I work yet another weekend and miss church again. *massive sigh*

fin.

Gratitude Continued

Day 2:

Today, I'd like to express gratitude for three new things. Here it goes:

1. My Mother - many times I reflect over my life and think about the one person who has held me down since day 1 and it undoubtedly has been my mom. She's strong, giving, passionate about what she does, and absolutely hilarious. I pray that I get half the spirit she was blessed with because then I'll be blessed beyond my comprehension. Words can not express the love I have for her. She's had my back - even in adulthood. My gratitude is endless for her.

2. Renewal - I went through a period of great loss in my life, after seemingly being the person in my friend-group who had amassed the most success. Though all material possessions, I had worked hard to create for myself a life that most 23 year olds (from my background) could never fathom. And, just like that, I was stripped down to bare bones. But God kept me through those times. He kept me and he's given me promises of renewal, this time around. I'm more detached from material things but I am excited to see God spill over in this period of renewal for my life.

3. Sound Mind - recently there have been so many suicides/attempts achieved by individuals only a few people personally removed from my knowing them. The sheer thought that tomorrow doesn't exist is frightening. I can't imagine believing the lie of the enemy in such a way that it makes me now want to live - and moreover, take my own life. So, I'm thankful for a sound mind. One that, even as the world crumbles around me, allows me to never consider the worst alternative. That is indeed a blessing.

I'm liking this experience.

fin.

Focusing on love

The devil has tried to divert my mind in such a way that I can not appreciate what God has given me, placed in my life, blessed me with.

I recognize your false tricks for what they are and I've decided to combat this by actively going against what I see in front of me and use my faith as a key to releasing myself to the will of God.

Starting today I am introducing more prayer into my daily regimen, focusing on gratefulness and thanksgiving. I've also decided to actively pray for others and not myself. Too often do I use my prayers to focus on my own struggle but I know there are people out there dealing with greater, more intense issues. As with reading, the more one prays, the stronger your ability to pray becomes.

So today I am pledging to show the Lord gratitude for 3 new things daily until I notice the habit of my prayers changing into this type of expression naturally. I've also decided to open my heart and show more vulnerable, unguarded love.

Pray with and for me.

Today - I am thankful and grateful for:

- God changing my life: I was on a road to disaster, engrossed in sin and traveling on a road straight for hell. Then he turned it. He loved me enough to give me the option for change. And I'm thankful for that - more than anyone could understand.

- Pharmacy: As stressful and crazy as school has been, I thank God for honoring my decision to become a pharmacist. I can remember the date I got my acceptance letter and called my mom to tell her. But I couldn't get a word out because I cried just that much. It's been so many tears shed between that time and now - some in response to stress and others just in pure gratitude. Either way, I've been made strong through it all. Extremely strong.

- My wife: She's patient, extremely thoughtful, protective and kind. She's talented, beautiful and sexy. She's gifted, creative and truly an amazing spirit. I have such a great desire to shower her with all the pleasantries this life has but I first want her to experience the love I have to give - as it hasn't been shared with anyone ever.

Just typing this makes me so grateful for everything God is doing for me. I'm overwhelmed by his goodness and mercy. Little ole Joh! Let the gratitude challenge begin!

This Morning

usually I love Thursdays.

but this one, I'm just not sure about.

i want so badly to start speaking greatness into the atmosphere today but I just don't feel great. I feel annoyed, stifled and ignored.

i pray things get better. Until then, I'll just fake it.

i really need a vacation or a guy's getaway.

fin.

God's Grace

Today I'm thankful for God opening my eyes to his hand working to provide the increase in my life. It's pretty astounding, actually.

This is what happened: I prayed and asked The Father to open a door for me to be able to provide for my family. I decided to do my part and initiate some action that would align me with opportunity. NO SOONER than I did that, God came through with open doors.

I'm sure this has happened in my life time and time again. However, THIS TIME, I witnessed it for exactly what it was. And I'm thankful about it.

God is great. I pray that everyone can witness and recognize his love in such a way!

fin.

Break Time....

Its fairly cyclic for me. I start to get dissatisfied (and even annoyed, maybe) by everything New Orleans and everybody here. This discontentment seems to invade my mind to such a degree that I would plan a random trip out of the state (and sometimes, country) in order to re-energize and reboot. But that hasn't happened for me in quite some time. I'm in school - my last year - but the guilt associated with leaving town has only been diminished by a long break like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Other than that, I really haven't left New Orleans.

I need to get away!

It's called the "state of the Sagittarius." We are natural adventurers, childlike in our pursuit of explorative fun and mystery. As we grow, we find ways of squelching our desires in order to function in the real world. But the desire never truly dies. It just lays dormant until times like this - WHEN I JUST NEED TO GET AWAY.

School afforded me a couple opportunities to go to Puerto Rico and Hawaii, both of which were amazing and far enough away that I felt revitalized and ready to return to crazy NOLA.

With such a lull in travel, I'm really starting to feel it. I get overwhelmed by the feeling that all I do is work. My mind begins to focus on the thousand responsibilities I have which then makes me anxious. In the past, I've become crabby. But now, instead, I just shut my emotions down as to not come off like a jerk. But the feeling is real to me. And all I want is a break.

I'm on Fall Break now and it feels like anything but that. I wish I could have gone to visit my sister or hopped on a megabus to Atlanta to visit friends there.

blah.

I'm trying to make the best of it. I know this post sounds pretty pessimistic but I really can't help how I feel right now.

The good news is that, in order to be productive, my mind will make sense of it all and refocus. So the feelings will go away and I'll be back to going through the motions.

It's just right now..... Man!