Losing teeth

I liken my experiences to that of losing teeth. We all of to do it. It's become somewhat of a unofficial rite of passage. However, there's more to my interpretation than simply losing what was temporary and gaining anew.

Think about it. We all lose our first set of teeth - not barring their condition upon the loss. Some of us have near-perfect "baby" teeth, where losing them is simply a process of growth. For others, the release of rotten, misshapen, and/or unhealthy teeth signals a renewal.

Either way, we all lose teeth.

Where I am right now in my life is existing in a place were I have been renewed, given a brand new set of teeth, so to speak. A chance at a new life. In reflection, I can see how God has taken me from being a single, spoiled, selfish know-it-all to a more open, trusting, loving man. And yet there are some who stand to serve as a reminder of my "old teeth."

They use whatever tools they can to tear you down. You'd think they had never lost teeth themselves.

I'm constantly challenged by this. A wise preacher once told me, "You pay for sins and you pray for your sins." I can deal with that. What I have to learn is how to deal with the repercussion of having those "old teeth" but also not falling into a space where I can't at all recognize my new ones.

I stand in God's glory. Nevertheless, I am human and I fall into a place where I doubt whether this journey is truly mine. I need reminders that he's covering me, that he hasn't forsaken me. And where usually I am strong, I have moments where I am but a child - scared, hesitant to grow, nervous.

I can't let it shake me too long or too much though. It's exactly where the enemy would have me to be so that I forget what my calling is. I can't forget that no matter how I gained these new teeth, I was still blessed to have some.

So, I'm taking a mindset of thankfulness, instead of sadness or fear. I'm letting the father's eternal love draw me nearer to his promises, rather than cause me to doubt.

Ye tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

fin.

Becoming whole again

I awoke from the deepest slumber - numb, delirious, confused. At first frightened, my eyes began to focus; pictures and scenes come into view. They are all comforting faces. Familiar, though I have never met them. I am here.

Smiles celebrate my arrival. She holds me so affectionately. I will come to know her as my mother. A love like hers was unique. She would come to sacrifice much of her life to help me to become the man I am today. To grow and change and realize that my life was not my own. The example she set would draw me to find one whose back could bare the burden of childbirth, whose heart could amass a love and spirit of forgiveness that only the creator could endow one with. Whose kindness would fashion sincerity in the lives of those whom it touched. But, something was missing.

Many times throughout the life that was created for me, I'd ask friends and family to examine my side - to identify the scar that stretched from my breastplate and wrapped around to meet at my spine. And while my supporters believed my story of vacancy and absence, none could identify the scar that only I seemed to notice. It was there, though. Deep, intense, and real. But - only to me.

So, I hid.

That scar of imperfection disappeared in my mind just as much as it was invisible in everyone else's. I fought against my destiny - so I thought. I put up pretense to heal that scar with the unfulfilling love of others. None of it worked for me. And so I prayed. I asked God to lead me, take my pain away. Heal the scar and allow me to grow into the man he would have me to be.

And then I had an encounter that changed my life forever.

One day, after the chaos of life had begun to settle, I stared across the table into the eyes of one who made my years of hiding that scar seem like only seconds of embarrassment. Something was different, but familiar about her. Aside from her striking beauty and wonderful personality, she possessed a passion for life that literally made me feel whole. She was intelligent, driven, understanding and keen. Her business sense was uncanny, second to none. She would later reveal to me that she too had a scar, in the same place as mine.

It was then that I realized who she was in my life. It was in that initial slumber, so many years ago, that I could hear her voice, a creation begot from a rib of my side. One who would compliment me in so many different ways that being with her, in her presence, felt like a reunion with a life long friend. The scar had been God's reminder to me that I should never forget his promise to me. Even in eternity, he purposed for me to have her as my companion for life. This explained why no one else could see it. It was a door God had opened for me and her. No one had a right to what was destined to be ours.

I know now why life just didn't feel right before her. I needed to find my rib, to become whole again. When she's happy, so am I. When she hurts, I share her pain. When the world looks to harm her, I am to step in the way and protect her.

We.

Are.

One.

Everyday, we grow stronger, perfecting ourselves and perfecting the "we" God wants us to become. It truly is a blessing to be given a new life - an answered prayer that would become my blessed reality.

Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD

fin.