One of the areas of struggle in my life that I continuously pray that God help to mature is that of my vision. Not so much what I see with my eyes, though that vision is slowly becoming fuzzier with age. But instead, I am referring to my spiritual vision, that which can see the handwork of God through a spirit of gratitude - rather than a spirit of scrutiny. Sometimes I feel like I have put on scuba gear, as I swim in the sea of God's blessings, seeing only what passes in front of the swimming goggles I have on.
I've evaluated what's the source of my self-limitation. Could it be that I am not appreciative enough? Have I not humbled myself to the will and power of God? Am I just a close-minded Christian stuck in a childish view of the master? I'm not sure. But, I know from addicts who are in twelve step programs, that admittance is the first step in the journey to growth and change.
So where do I stand with my current struggle? It rests in the fact that I try to limit God by putting human parameters on God's works. Let me use an analogy to explain: I ask for ice cream. God gives me a banana split because it has ice cream, bananas and the caramel topping I love. I am still looking around for ice cream.
Get it?
See, I don't want to put limits on God, or allow my mind a space to try to predict the type of blessing God has in store for me. The scripture says he can do exceeding, abundantly ABOVE all that I can ask or think, and yet I struggle in both thinking (too much) when what I am asking for doesn't appear in the form I would have liked it.
Well, I'm over it. Time and time again, God has shown me that his faithfulness to me is completely rooted in love - a love that surpasses anything I've ever experienced before. Though my imperfections would drag me to hell, he still finds a way to love me - with no effort and its renewed every second.
My prayer: Father God, you know me best. In those times where my perspective is clouded by anticipation, anxiety, expectation, and limitation, I ask that you give me peace and clarity. That you always remind me of how to praise until I witness the break through. How to know that when its far beyond anything I could have thought, it's you. I don't know me as well as you, my creator. So I ask you to enter beyond the veil of my free will and be the catalyst within me to motivate my peace and contentment. Also Father, allow me to be a major blessing to others, before, during and after I have received your abundance. Allow me to sow seeds in everyone I meet that will grow into a curiosity within them drawing them closer to you. I know your major concern with us here in this realm is our relationship with you. I want to grow - pass the tests - and receive ALL that you have promised for me.
Amen.
Be in prayer, with and for me guys.....
fin.
