I've always wondered about my parents intentions in raising me like they did. In an attempt to give me an easier life, I now have a series of character traits that don't fit well into the scheme of true success. This is not to say that I am not appreciative of the life they provided me with. My mother was the absolute best example of tolerance and understanding I could have ever had. My father inadvertently showed me the importance of working hard, that the world will eat out your hand if its coated with the sweetest nectar of persistence. But still, these traits. Some people might call them flaws. I just don't see it that way. Nevertheless, there are ways of which I have become cognizant that feed directly into this marginalized behavior. For example, it took me a conscious effort to commit to being to places punctually. In the past, I just didn't give a shit. I would show up late - hours late and expect people to understand. This was until i found out that constant tardiness is rooted in self-image issues. I was conceited beyond belief. If they were my friends, then they'll wait. That was my attitude. But how backwards is that?! If I am their real friend, then I wouldn't make them wait. Too bad it took me all four years of my collegiate life to develop a true sense of care and value in others' time, thus alleviating myself of this trait. And there are others. Other traits that make me cringe at the thought - but most I carry out as a result of some personal philosophy I was taught as a child or adopted along the way without any redirection.
So in Alpha, we are told that whatever good qualities you want to have, weave them in. Start practicing. But what do we do with the qualities that don't fit into our success model? This is where I get deeply confused. I am not trying to perfect myself by any means, but if I am going to walk into this next phase of my life truly wanting to help others, then i need to have traits in me that can genuinely help manage this process.
Maybe I've put too much thought into this. Still, better off proactive than not!
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