Frustrated

I've been lied to. Or maybe some major details were withheld from me. However, either way, I feel as though I've lost someone's words in translation or someone has a vendetta out against my happiness. This is the deal:

Every since I can remember, I've always been told to "Go to college, graduate, and watch the world unfold before your eyes." So i took my mother on her word and did just that. And you know what, the old bird wasn't wrong... Or at least I thought she wasn't. See I have made some assumptions around the latter part of that promise my mom made. "...Watch the world unfold before your eyes" seemed to mean that if I built a stable life for myself, I would be guaranteed companionship and love and care. Well, I sit here today a 26 year old single man. I did my fair share of trolluping back in undergrad and the later years of high school. I dated several girls at the same time, broke many hearts in the process and fertilized an egg that only had a few months of life before his mother decided she didn't want to receive her degree with a "fat belly." Granted I was 17 at the time, so who knows how a kid would have affected my world. 

(Back to the topic) 

So where's my wife, house, 2 1/2 kids, and german shepherd? I currently have a condo and 3 degrees. Something went wildly wrong with that promise of a world unfolding. Maybe she meant, the world would unfold in the areas of monetary gain and social status ONLY. I would have appreciated it if she were more specific. Or maybe I've  interpreted that saying incorrectly - just looking for a scapegoat to hide my own personal issues with why I haven't become a domesticated human being, Ugh... I just don't know. I've prayed for understanding and all I get it this intense sense of loneliness. And as I step into school for another 4 years, this is the only thing I can foresee in my future - loneliness. AND IT HAS ME FRUSTRATED. Maybe I should let it go - let things take their natural course. But I am human damnit. I'm tired of being the guy who has to be so calm and rational about life, never truly releasing his sincerest feelings about what things are going on in his life. Well, I'm frustrated and lonely. And I have tried to put my heart out there but I feel like because I have been so stoic for so long that I behave like that 17 year old again unable to NOT get attached or fall hard. 

Luckily I was built from a different type of material... something strong, unique and resilient. I'll figure this out eventually. But right now, I just need to vent. 

Caramel dudes need love too. damn.