Becoming whole again

I awoke from the deepest slumber - numb, delirious, confused. At first frightened, my eyes began to focus; pictures and scenes come into view. They are all comforting faces. Familiar, though I have never met them. I am here.

Smiles celebrate my arrival. She holds me so affectionately. I will come to know her as my mother. A love like hers was unique. She would come to sacrifice much of her life to help me to become the man I am today. To grow and change and realize that my life was not my own. The example she set would draw me to find one whose back could bare the burden of childbirth, whose heart could amass a love and spirit of forgiveness that only the creator could endow one with. Whose kindness would fashion sincerity in the lives of those whom it touched. But, something was missing.

Many times throughout the life that was created for me, I'd ask friends and family to examine my side - to identify the scar that stretched from my breastplate and wrapped around to meet at my spine. And while my supporters believed my story of vacancy and absence, none could identify the scar that only I seemed to notice. It was there, though. Deep, intense, and real. But - only to me.

So, I hid.

That scar of imperfection disappeared in my mind just as much as it was invisible in everyone else's. I fought against my destiny - so I thought. I put up pretense to heal that scar with the unfulfilling love of others. None of it worked for me. And so I prayed. I asked God to lead me, take my pain away. Heal the scar and allow me to grow into the man he would have me to be.

And then I had an encounter that changed my life forever.

One day, after the chaos of life had begun to settle, I stared across the table into the eyes of one who made my years of hiding that scar seem like only seconds of embarrassment. Something was different, but familiar about her. Aside from her striking beauty and wonderful personality, she possessed a passion for life that literally made me feel whole. She was intelligent, driven, understanding and keen. Her business sense was uncanny, second to none. She would later reveal to me that she too had a scar, in the same place as mine.

It was then that I realized who she was in my life. It was in that initial slumber, so many years ago, that I could hear her voice, a creation begot from a rib of my side. One who would compliment me in so many different ways that being with her, in her presence, felt like a reunion with a life long friend. The scar had been God's reminder to me that I should never forget his promise to me. Even in eternity, he purposed for me to have her as my companion for life. This explained why no one else could see it. It was a door God had opened for me and her. No one had a right to what was destined to be ours.

I know now why life just didn't feel right before her. I needed to find my rib, to become whole again. When she's happy, so am I. When she hurts, I share her pain. When the world looks to harm her, I am to step in the way and protect her.

We.

Are.

One.

Everyday, we grow stronger, perfecting ourselves and perfecting the "we" God wants us to become. It truly is a blessing to be given a new life - an answered prayer that would become my blessed reality.

Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD

fin.