I gotta be honest - these posts have become very therapeutic to me. I have felt discouraged, stressed and doubtful in this last week. Reflecting on these posts have really redirected a lot of those feelings and reset my mind in a more positive direction. So, with that being said, here are some more points of gratitude.
1. LIFE Ministry - I've seen so many people believe in my vision for something that could truly change the lives of so many people. And I must admit, I've been more discouraged this week about the ministry than ever before. With so much else going on, I question sometimes if I can manage it all. But I am revitalized in my walk simply by reflecting on how people believe. They believe in me. They believe in God's ability to take this thing to unknown levels. They simply - believe. And that, for me, is enough. I've always had to believe in myself - regardless of the world around me. It's refreshing to have others truly believe in something you have been called to do. And for that, I'm thankful.
2. Trouble - As much as the childlike, care-free spirit in me hates and despises anything that represents trouble or strife, I've come to see how it has shaped me and continues to shape me into a stronger person.
3. Health - For as long as I can remember, I haven't had any major health concerns. A sprained ankle when I was a child, bronchitis for a moment in my teenage years, and a fever once every 15 years (I'm only 30!, lol). So I truly thank God above that he's given me such a true measure of health.
Okay, folk. That's all for now. Enjoy your Halloween. And pray my strength as I work yet another weekend and miss church again. *massive sigh*
fin.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Gratitude Continued
Day 2:
Today, I'd like to express gratitude for three new things. Here it goes:
1. My Mother - many times I reflect over my life and think about the one person who has held me down since day 1 and it undoubtedly has been my mom. She's strong, giving, passionate about what she does, and absolutely hilarious. I pray that I get half the spirit she was blessed with because then I'll be blessed beyond my comprehension. Words can not express the love I have for her. She's had my back - even in adulthood. My gratitude is endless for her.
2. Renewal - I went through a period of great loss in my life, after seemingly being the person in my friend-group who had amassed the most success. Though all material possessions, I had worked hard to create for myself a life that most 23 year olds (from my background) could never fathom. And, just like that, I was stripped down to bare bones. But God kept me through those times. He kept me and he's given me promises of renewal, this time around. I'm more detached from material things but I am excited to see God spill over in this period of renewal for my life.
3. Sound Mind - recently there have been so many suicides/attempts achieved by individuals only a few people personally removed from my knowing them. The sheer thought that tomorrow doesn't exist is frightening. I can't imagine believing the lie of the enemy in such a way that it makes me now want to live - and moreover, take my own life. So, I'm thankful for a sound mind. One that, even as the world crumbles around me, allows me to never consider the worst alternative. That is indeed a blessing.
I'm liking this experience.
fin.
Today, I'd like to express gratitude for three new things. Here it goes:
1. My Mother - many times I reflect over my life and think about the one person who has held me down since day 1 and it undoubtedly has been my mom. She's strong, giving, passionate about what she does, and absolutely hilarious. I pray that I get half the spirit she was blessed with because then I'll be blessed beyond my comprehension. Words can not express the love I have for her. She's had my back - even in adulthood. My gratitude is endless for her.
2. Renewal - I went through a period of great loss in my life, after seemingly being the person in my friend-group who had amassed the most success. Though all material possessions, I had worked hard to create for myself a life that most 23 year olds (from my background) could never fathom. And, just like that, I was stripped down to bare bones. But God kept me through those times. He kept me and he's given me promises of renewal, this time around. I'm more detached from material things but I am excited to see God spill over in this period of renewal for my life.
3. Sound Mind - recently there have been so many suicides/attempts achieved by individuals only a few people personally removed from my knowing them. The sheer thought that tomorrow doesn't exist is frightening. I can't imagine believing the lie of the enemy in such a way that it makes me now want to live - and moreover, take my own life. So, I'm thankful for a sound mind. One that, even as the world crumbles around me, allows me to never consider the worst alternative. That is indeed a blessing.
I'm liking this experience.
fin.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Focusing on love
The devil has tried to divert my mind in such a way that I can not appreciate what God has given me, placed in my life, blessed me with.
I recognize your false tricks for what they are and I've decided to combat this by actively going against what I see in front of me and use my faith as a key to releasing myself to the will of God.
Starting today I am introducing more prayer into my daily regimen, focusing on gratefulness and thanksgiving. I've also decided to actively pray for others and not myself. Too often do I use my prayers to focus on my own struggle but I know there are people out there dealing with greater, more intense issues. As with reading, the more one prays, the stronger your ability to pray becomes.
So today I am pledging to show the Lord gratitude for 3 new things daily until I notice the habit of my prayers changing into this type of expression naturally. I've also decided to open my heart and show more vulnerable, unguarded love.
Pray with and for me.
Today - I am thankful and grateful for:
- God changing my life: I was on a road to disaster, engrossed in sin and traveling on a road straight for hell. Then he turned it. He loved me enough to give me the option for change. And I'm thankful for that - more than anyone could understand.
- Pharmacy: As stressful and crazy as school has been, I thank God for honoring my decision to become a pharmacist. I can remember the date I got my acceptance letter and called my mom to tell her. But I couldn't get a word out because I cried just that much. It's been so many tears shed between that time and now - some in response to stress and others just in pure gratitude. Either way, I've been made strong through it all. Extremely strong.
- My wife: She's patient, extremely thoughtful, protective and kind. She's talented, beautiful and sexy. She's gifted, creative and truly an amazing spirit. I have such a great desire to shower her with all the pleasantries this life has but I first want her to experience the love I have to give - as it hasn't been shared with anyone ever.
Just typing this makes me so grateful for everything God is doing for me. I'm overwhelmed by his goodness and mercy. Little ole Joh! Let the gratitude challenge begin!
I recognize your false tricks for what they are and I've decided to combat this by actively going against what I see in front of me and use my faith as a key to releasing myself to the will of God.
Starting today I am introducing more prayer into my daily regimen, focusing on gratefulness and thanksgiving. I've also decided to actively pray for others and not myself. Too often do I use my prayers to focus on my own struggle but I know there are people out there dealing with greater, more intense issues. As with reading, the more one prays, the stronger your ability to pray becomes.
So today I am pledging to show the Lord gratitude for 3 new things daily until I notice the habit of my prayers changing into this type of expression naturally. I've also decided to open my heart and show more vulnerable, unguarded love.
Pray with and for me.
Today - I am thankful and grateful for:
- God changing my life: I was on a road to disaster, engrossed in sin and traveling on a road straight for hell. Then he turned it. He loved me enough to give me the option for change. And I'm thankful for that - more than anyone could understand.
- Pharmacy: As stressful and crazy as school has been, I thank God for honoring my decision to become a pharmacist. I can remember the date I got my acceptance letter and called my mom to tell her. But I couldn't get a word out because I cried just that much. It's been so many tears shed between that time and now - some in response to stress and others just in pure gratitude. Either way, I've been made strong through it all. Extremely strong.
- My wife: She's patient, extremely thoughtful, protective and kind. She's talented, beautiful and sexy. She's gifted, creative and truly an amazing spirit. I have such a great desire to shower her with all the pleasantries this life has but I first want her to experience the love I have to give - as it hasn't been shared with anyone ever.
Just typing this makes me so grateful for everything God is doing for me. I'm overwhelmed by his goodness and mercy. Little ole Joh! Let the gratitude challenge begin!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
This Morning
usually I love Thursdays.
but this one, I'm just not sure about.
i want so badly to start speaking greatness into the atmosphere today but I just don't feel great. I feel annoyed, stifled and ignored.
i pray things get better. Until then, I'll just fake it.
i really need a vacation or a guy's getaway.
fin.
but this one, I'm just not sure about.
i want so badly to start speaking greatness into the atmosphere today but I just don't feel great. I feel annoyed, stifled and ignored.
i pray things get better. Until then, I'll just fake it.
i really need a vacation or a guy's getaway.
fin.
Friday, October 17, 2014
God's Grace
Today I'm thankful for God opening my eyes to his hand working to provide the increase in my life. It's pretty astounding, actually.
This is what happened: I prayed and asked The Father to open a door for me to be able to provide for my family. I decided to do my part and initiate some action that would align me with opportunity. NO SOONER than I did that, God came through with open doors.
I'm sure this has happened in my life time and time again. However, THIS TIME, I witnessed it for exactly what it was. And I'm thankful about it.
God is great. I pray that everyone can witness and recognize his love in such a way!
fin.
This is what happened: I prayed and asked The Father to open a door for me to be able to provide for my family. I decided to do my part and initiate some action that would align me with opportunity. NO SOONER than I did that, God came through with open doors.
I'm sure this has happened in my life time and time again. However, THIS TIME, I witnessed it for exactly what it was. And I'm thankful about it.
God is great. I pray that everyone can witness and recognize his love in such a way!
fin.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Break Time....
Its fairly cyclic for me. I start to get dissatisfied (and even annoyed, maybe) by everything New Orleans and everybody here. This discontentment seems to invade my mind to such a degree that I would plan a random trip out of the state (and sometimes, country) in order to re-energize and reboot. But that hasn't happened for me in quite some time. I'm in school - my last year - but the guilt associated with leaving town has only been diminished by a long break like Thanksgiving or Christmas. Other than that, I really haven't left New Orleans.
I need to get away!
It's called the "state of the Sagittarius." We are natural adventurers, childlike in our pursuit of explorative fun and mystery. As we grow, we find ways of squelching our desires in order to function in the real world. But the desire never truly dies. It just lays dormant until times like this - WHEN I JUST NEED TO GET AWAY.
School afforded me a couple opportunities to go to Puerto Rico and Hawaii, both of which were amazing and far enough away that I felt revitalized and ready to return to crazy NOLA.
With such a lull in travel, I'm really starting to feel it. I get overwhelmed by the feeling that all I do is work. My mind begins to focus on the thousand responsibilities I have which then makes me anxious. In the past, I've become crabby. But now, instead, I just shut my emotions down as to not come off like a jerk. But the feeling is real to me. And all I want is a break.
I'm on Fall Break now and it feels like anything but that. I wish I could have gone to visit my sister or hopped on a megabus to Atlanta to visit friends there.
blah.
I'm trying to make the best of it. I know this post sounds pretty pessimistic but I really can't help how I feel right now.
The good news is that, in order to be productive, my mind will make sense of it all and refocus. So the feelings will go away and I'll be back to going through the motions.
It's just right now..... Man!
I need to get away!
It's called the "state of the Sagittarius." We are natural adventurers, childlike in our pursuit of explorative fun and mystery. As we grow, we find ways of squelching our desires in order to function in the real world. But the desire never truly dies. It just lays dormant until times like this - WHEN I JUST NEED TO GET AWAY.
School afforded me a couple opportunities to go to Puerto Rico and Hawaii, both of which were amazing and far enough away that I felt revitalized and ready to return to crazy NOLA.
With such a lull in travel, I'm really starting to feel it. I get overwhelmed by the feeling that all I do is work. My mind begins to focus on the thousand responsibilities I have which then makes me anxious. In the past, I've become crabby. But now, instead, I just shut my emotions down as to not come off like a jerk. But the feeling is real to me. And all I want is a break.
I'm on Fall Break now and it feels like anything but that. I wish I could have gone to visit my sister or hopped on a megabus to Atlanta to visit friends there.
blah.
I'm trying to make the best of it. I know this post sounds pretty pessimistic but I really can't help how I feel right now.
The good news is that, in order to be productive, my mind will make sense of it all and refocus. So the feelings will go away and I'll be back to going through the motions.
It's just right now..... Man!
Saturday, October 11, 2014
New Friends
"No New Friends" is a song that has become the mantra for so many people today. I see it on my social media. I hear it at gatherings. It's all over the place. People everywhere are celebrating the fact that their friend groups are strong, loyal, trustworthy. I find myself sitting here wondering had I kept my friend group, I would have totally neglected my loyalty to myself. To my ability to grow and change as a human being. To being true to the person I am today - my values and my character.
And yet, in giving up those toxic relationships, I find myself the in a weird spot. Free from fake friendships but then absent of friends. I've never been the type of person who has been codependent in that way but I realize how much I miss the good times I've shared with my friends.
In having dinner with an old friend, I realized how much I missed having the ear of a friend. Just to sit there and talk, get feedback and feel that interaction allowed me to see that I was missing out on an essential part of the human experience. Sometimes, I just need to vent frustration. Other times, I need the outsider's point of view that will allow me to open my mind to make that paradigm shift. I have a good friend that provides me with that but there are realities of his life and mine that limit the friendship. I've accepted these limitations but it still leaves me at a loss with regards to what my needs are in that way.
So I've released myself of old friends, their habits, and their lives. I wish them well but I had to open space in my heart for new, genuine friends.
So my mantra is "New Friends!" Not a slew but just a tight knit group who has my best interest at heart, that is concerned with seeing everything I'm a part of be successful. Do those people still exist out there? I won't give up on God's ability to bring them into my life. So I guess in the meantime, I'll just have to be patient.
If God has blessed you with a best friend, be thankful for him/her. it's a rarity and a gem to have.
Be in prayer for me. Please.
fin.
And yet, in giving up those toxic relationships, I find myself the in a weird spot. Free from fake friendships but then absent of friends. I've never been the type of person who has been codependent in that way but I realize how much I miss the good times I've shared with my friends.
In having dinner with an old friend, I realized how much I missed having the ear of a friend. Just to sit there and talk, get feedback and feel that interaction allowed me to see that I was missing out on an essential part of the human experience. Sometimes, I just need to vent frustration. Other times, I need the outsider's point of view that will allow me to open my mind to make that paradigm shift. I have a good friend that provides me with that but there are realities of his life and mine that limit the friendship. I've accepted these limitations but it still leaves me at a loss with regards to what my needs are in that way.
So I've released myself of old friends, their habits, and their lives. I wish them well but I had to open space in my heart for new, genuine friends.
So my mantra is "New Friends!" Not a slew but just a tight knit group who has my best interest at heart, that is concerned with seeing everything I'm a part of be successful. Do those people still exist out there? I won't give up on God's ability to bring them into my life. So I guess in the meantime, I'll just have to be patient.
If God has blessed you with a best friend, be thankful for him/her. it's a rarity and a gem to have.
Be in prayer for me. Please.
fin.
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