I choose my titles carefully.
The one message I want to impart to my readers is that I am indeed a MAN who is giving his perspective on relationships - not a boy hypothesizing about things which he has seen only on TV or through the eyes of friends who have staggering maturity levels as well. I've lived enough to have strong conclusions about things. Just thought I'd share them with the world.
Relationships are indeed a paradox.
So much so that it shouldn't be a surprise that they don't last too often and the rarity of longevity (i.e. marriage) is celebrated with immense amounts of pomp and circumstance. Well, it doesn't surprise me. But I think as a man, there is a part of me that has checked out on friends who hold this childish belief in prince/princess charming being out there, waiting to be found so that they can live happily ever after. Wait. Let's be more specific. There are FEMALES out in the world who are waiting, trained up from toddlers how to be codependent, helpless, feeble brained, successful-enough housewives-to-be. And because we socialize our young girls to emulate the Nicki Minaj's of the world, they continue to search for a dream that they could get if only they invited the chase, and made a real man work for the price of her heart.
Females like this don't exist. Free-males enter stage left.
It's a paradox ladies. A man, not a boy, will never ask more of you than he is willing to provide at least 3-4 times for you. The sense of security he'll give you is only a supplement to what you should already have developed in yourself. And sex - doesn't exist. He wants to make love to your mind first, penetrating your passion with sweet everythings and soft nothings, supporting your wettest (and driest) dreams by anticipating your needs over his own. He is satisfied when you are satisfied. He holds on by letting go and he imitates God's promises to man by making only those for which he can exclusively provide.
But please don't be fooled by the rhetoric. I'm a real man from a "broken" family. The model for stability in relationships for me doesn't exist. But I refuse to use the simplistic nature of my upbringing as a crutch upon which my desired paradox shall be crushed.
Yes. I said it. I want the paradox. Because paradoxes are hard to maintain. They are challenges to manage and they are inherently difficult to comprehend. And yet, the beauty of a paradox lies in its ability to be transparent to those who exist within it.
I understand it won't be easy. But it makes it easier for me to assume that maybe a little more that 10% of women in New Orleans have standards, class, and self-worth. That I can't simply send a text at 3am and get a positive response for sex. Ask ANY REAL MAN! In a world where everything is McDonaldized, fast, made-to-order - it's refreshing, new, intriguing and sexy to find that one woman who won't let me "have it my way." Thus, the paradox. And ladies, don't fall for the hype. Those of us who cheat do so because we haven't accepted the paradox. We've reneged to what is easiest for us over what's worth our time. She (or YOU) is temporary and a barbershop jumpoff story AT BEST. The real men stand apart. There's not much that can intimidate us. We want the paradox because we can't live a life with much less!
It saddens me really. I know very few women whose standards are so high. Maybe a move to a metropolitan city can help me out a bit. It's that or I'm going into the monastery!
Until then, I'll continue to search for the hard-to-catch real women. All you other heauxs can continue to settle and act disappointed when the reality you create becomes the painful life you have to live.
my three cents.
fin.
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